Butterflies

It's funny how butterflies come in all shapes and sizes. Monarchs, brown, orange, and red flying around. Big butterflies - small butterflies - blue butterflies - butterflies with spots.

But the butterflies that I'm dealing with are butterflies of anxiety... in a good way. I know that Jesus tells us to [not be] "anxious about anything, but... by prayer and petition make your requests to God," (Phili 4:6), but I have butterflies for a good cause. A friend of mine is coming home from a 6-month missions trip and I'm so excited and nervous all at the same time!

It's like you're first date. Sitting there on the sofa with your legs crossed "patiently" waiting for your date to arrive. You twiddle your fingers as you try not to plan what the night might unfold. Your hearing becomes super-charged; the fly on the wall has made three steps towards the plate of food you have laid on the counter. When is he going to be here? Why is he taking so long? He said he be here by 7:30 and it's 7:32. You try very hard to stay out of sin.

You find yourself with the age old butterflies in the stomach.

And that's my diagnosis. I've got butterflies. Big ones. Silly ones. Ones in my hand making my hand shake.

You know what's worse? These butterflies are over someone that I haven't even met before. Never. But I'm sure I will. Eventually.

She's coming home from her missions trip, and while she's been gone I have been praying for her. Praying for safety. Praying for the Lord's hand over her life. Praying for peace, joy, strength, endurance, etc. Basically, her coming home is the culmination of all of my prayers and petitions. I'm soooo excited!

I feel like I'm standing at the airport waiting to watch her walk down the airport walkway knowing that she'll be more mature, sad to leave, but joyful to come home (what a paradox there lies for missionaries). I'm holding a cluster of antique pink roses with a welcome home balloon and a gigantic smile reaching from ear-to-ear. I'd be fighting the urge to cry uncontrollably.

But I'm here. Sitting at my computer. Writing in my diary.

Just my butterflies and me.


Lord, please bring joy to K---. Let her find herself wrapped in the arms of those she loves and know that she's at home. Let her be content where you place her, be it at home, on the mission field, or with D---. Lord you know the plans you have for her. Plans to prosper her, and not to harm her. Let her find her peace in You, where ever that may lead her. And give those that she loves peace of mind and heart as they receive K--- back into their arms. Let them know that their trust and security lies in You and Your will will not be shaken. Amen.