Happy Easter!

I couldn't resist this photo. :)

Happy Easter, Everybody! It is so wonderful to reflect on the Lord's goodness, every day, but especially today.

He is risen!

If you can, download Kirk Alexander's message from this morning at www.SGConline.org. It was wonderful!

The sign.

Ok, so while I was running my errands today our property manager came over and put the "For Rent" sign up in our yard.

Ahhhhh!

I have to be totally and completely transparent, right now. I was angry. "Who does he think he is that he's coming in here and sticking that sign in our yard without me knowing!" I was convicted, thankfully, very quickly.

But my next feeling was something even greater that I really don't want to deal with: sadness. I felt like I got a punch to the gut and I was gasping for air. "I'm not leaving for another month!"

So I cried. Actually, I shed a few tears. I haven't had a belly-whopping cry yet.

What this all revealed to me is that even though I've been "dealing" with things as they come, I haven't really sat down and thought about it. And, more importantly, I have been completely relying on my own strength and fortitude. Even to the point of trying to bear other's sadness. I used all of this strength to put aside what is going on in my heart and head and instead focusing on "fixing" things.

So. I'm telling you all now. I am not alright. (I'm crying fully as I'm writing this). If I say I am I'm lying, or not digging deeper.

I'm telling you this so you can keep me accountable.

What am I going through? I'm twenty. Moving completely across the continent. My only friend and human companion is and will be my husband (he's amazing and I love him so dearly. Lord, thank you for Michael!). I'm afraid I won't make friends easily. I'll be missing important things happening here. My siblings will grow up without me. I won't have my parents to straighten me out as well as they do right now. I'm scared I'll lose connection with people back here. I'm going to a place I have never been. I have no idea where I'm going to school or even what I'm going to do after school. And nothing is in my control. Nothing. Not even placing the sign in the yard.

I need truth. Truth.

"For I know the plans I have for you... Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." John 15:2

"You did not choose me, but I choose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last." John 15:16

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

"Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

So, if you think of me, please pray for me to find my strength in Christ, to rely on my husband's leadership, and to seek to be honest about my emotions and what's going on my heart. Thank you!

If you think of me,

Please pray. I am in a wonderful, amazing, and sad place in my life right now. Being less than two months away from moving emotions are abundant as are my prayers. Loving people come up and ask how I'm doing. To be honest, I have felt the need to lie and save myself from sorrow, tears or the truth. This season is a dichotomy: I'm so excited about the adventure, with my wonderful husband, that I'm embarking on. But at the same time my heart aches (literally) for everyone that I'm leaving behind.

So the truth, I'm excited that I'm moving. I know that I will make it through this time because the Lord has given me the strength to press on. Before I even met Michael the Lord was shaping me for this time, and all the experiences to come. Somewhere, the Lord talks about not giving us more than we can bear, but that He provides us with the strength needed for each new trial. (i'll have to find the verse later.)

Another truth, I'm so sad that I will be leaving behind all of you! All the loving people that have spoken into my life, Mom, Gracie, Mema, etc. All the possible events I will miss, weddings, showers, babies, courtships.

Also, another hard thing for me is hearing of all the planned trips to come and visit us. For real. Everybody means well, and I truly hope we will get many visitors. But life does set in. People get busy. Long distance friendships seem further away, and more expensive than when we planned the trip back in April! All is well. I'm in my Savior's hands. He knows the good intentions, and well thought out plans. He will provide for us.

But the Lord hasn't given me the grace to deal with the "what if's" He has given me strength for today and a peace about tomorrow. If the Lord leads us through our daily mundane lives (or active lives - Jennifer :) why would He drop us when the big things come up? No. On the contrary. God's grace and mercy is new every day!!!! What amazing news!!! I will not be forsaken, no matter how hard things get.

Lord, thank you!

And, if you think of us, specifically me, please pray for strength and compassion for those I interact with. I keep wanting to bite people's heads off for asking the same questions. I really struggle with patience. :) I drive myself crazy sometimes!!

Ciao, till later.

A Store in Prayer

I don't know how many people knew this, but Moore Expression's truck (the homeschool company that I work for) broke down within the past month. The repair would require at least an entirely new engine.

All in all, the total cost of the repairs would be upwards of $20,000! There was little chance that we could get that kind of money fast. The truck is the store's main revenue, bringing profit through homeschool conventions. We were in major need of a miracle!

Thankfully, the Lord knows all of our needs well before we know them. Mrs. Moore and I had just been talking about our circumstances. She was relaying to me that God has and always will take care of us. Every trial He puts us through is to bring Him glory and make us more into His image.

Well... what a trial!

I asked my family to pray for the store and that God would meet us in this need. Mrs. Moore had different customers praying for us as well as her care group and family. Through the whole thing I'm proud to say Mrs. Moore kept her composure and trusted solely in the Lord!

And...

He met us!!! Today we got a call from Joe saying that GM was going to completely pay for a NEW ENGINE!!!!!!! All the store would have to pay for is to put it in!

God has been, and is, so good to us! He met us in this place that we thought was a hopeless situation. He proved Himself faithful yet again.

For me, I got to see the power of prayer. I struggle having my devotions, but I really try to pray as often as possible. It's easy, though, to think that, yeah, God may hear you, but will He answer you? Will He?

YES, HE DOES!

Lord, thank you for being faithful to me. Even though I am human and forget to seek you with all of my heart, You still hear my little voice and love and take care of me. Thank you!

Classes have me stumped! But my sins declared me dead.

Actually, it's not the classes but making the schedule for this summer and next fall. I was so frustrated that I had to put my books away and breath very deeply before touching the keyboard again. I hate it when I get like that. Completely frustrated and not trusting in the Lord.

When I get frustrated it's because I'm trying to fix things myself. Be self sufficient. Numero uno. Obviously I fail miserably. That's part of life though. When I try to do things on my own I fail. But when God is in control I do fine. No problemo.

So why do I revert to myself. Shouldn't the knowledge that Christ had to be staked to the cross for that foot-stomping be enough to keep me aware of my sins? The world according to me, "Wow, it's a great day that I get to control. But hell will break loose if you fail to meet my demands and standards." And I will take this sin with me to my grave and to the Judge. There will the Almighty repeat back to me every time I cursed under my breath, laughed at a bad joke, read something I shouldn't have, not trusted in Him, yelled at my siblings, raised a defiant eyebrow to my mother, and manipulated my dad. As I stand there, naked, everything revealed and laying open to the Father, He opens the book of the dead and looks for my name. But it isn't there! From the right, through the gates of splendor comes One who stood in my place. Blood pours from His head as the thorns press into His brow reminding me that those very thorns were a sign of the fall of man an God's curse on the earth. His hands bear the blood of the One who died for me. His beautiful feet, those very same that have walked the streets of paradise beside the Father, exhibit yet another battle wound received for me. His side pours of ethereal blood and water, showing that all was drained for me.

He stands there, between me and the Judge, and says, "It is finished." My sins have already been paid for by Him. He then pulls out the Book of Life! As God fingers through the pages He comes to my name. "Katherine Irene Coughlin, you have been declared righteous through My Son, whom I sacrificed for you, My beloved daughter. Come worship in My kingdom for your debt has been cancelled." Christ then covers my nakedness with glory and leads me to the banquet in honor of the Holy One.

Then shall I bee without sin. And then shall I not be self-sufficient. And then will I see my Maker's face and worship in His presence with the saints. What a day that shall be!