A constant state of tiredness

Tired - weary, fatigued

I am weary. Emotionally worn out, and mentally strained.

My body is fatigued. There's really a lot to blame for my fatigue; 2nd pregnancy, this deployment, "single" mom to a toddler, and being sick or dealing with sickness in our house for the majority of the last 4 months. You name it we've had it (or still have it).

I'm sitting here at my husband's old computer (mine crashed 2 weeks ago and I've been too sick or out of town to take it in for repairs) and now his has a virus that irks me. It's always popping up with notices and warnings. My husband's truck is sitting in our driveway dead dead dead. I have 3 burned out light bulbs in my kitchen that I can't replace because I get dizzy when I climb. My dog snapped at me last night because I came too close to him while he was in his cage. I'm not sleeping and I can't take anything to help me sleep because I need to be able to protect my castle. On top of all of this the blood test on Friday showed that I'm hypoglycemic... so I need to eat all the time. I know this is a new thing 'cause I can actually feel my blood sugars drop. One more thing on my to-do list.

And now Audrey has a pretty bad cold with a runny/stuffy nose (how it can be both is beyond me), a cough, and a fever that levels out at 101.3. So she's been extra cranky on top of teething as well. I hate it when she's sick. There's nothing I can do to help besides love on her. Tonight I gave her a bath and she had the chills in the warm bath! (We snuggled in Mommy's bed afterwards and that helped.)

It's a mess over here. And it never ends. I can't assume this is the last of my problems or that any of this will end when my husband gets home... whenever that is.

But throughout all of this chaos I have been reminded of one thing over and over again: God is strongest when I am weakest. Well. I'm weak. Very weak, right now. I also know that He has given me the strength to endure what He has me going through.

Doesn't make it any easier, but at least I know I'm not alone nor will I crumble. My God shall supply all my needs, according to His riches and glory (Phil. 4:19).

So in that promise I will stand.

And I might cry too. That's okay. It's not a sign of weakness (like I've told myself all these years).

This is where I am. This is probably where I'll be for a while. And I'm okay with that. It's just a season, and one that will seem very short in retrospect.

Till next time, Ciao!